My Agenda

I have a two fold agenda for this blog. First, I am a devoted Christian who enjoys teaching others what I have learned, especially about the Bible. I not only have a background in cross-cultural ministry, but also includes children's ministry at both preschool and grade school leaves.

I have also worked the 12 Step of recovery in a manner in which I made them subject to Biblical principles. I am a greatfully recovering adult child of multiple dysfunctional families and a co-dependent. You will note that postings that I write dealing with this subject are categorized as Biblical Discipleship- Recovery. That term is not just propaganda on my part to win over those who are skeptical of the 12 steps. It recognizes that the Bible is the key to true "self improvement." It also reminds us that such improvements should be done for the purpose of us become more effective Christians.

The second part of my agenda of what I have learned about the prejudices that many Americans have towards Arabs since I started coming to First Arabic Baptist. The notion that all Arabs are both Muslims and Terrorist is far more prevalent then I ever realized while attending American churches. It should be noted that all of those who I have met who refuse to believe that it is possible for Arabs to choose Christianity have proven themselves to be anything but devote Christians. Pastor Jamal on the other hand will attest that there have been times when American Christians have told him that they want to support his ministry, but they are afraid that their money might be used to bomb Israelis.

It is with this in mind that I hope to present to you First Arabic Baptist Church. A church of devoted Christians - affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention - that conducts its services in English and Arabic - trying to do its part in fulfilling "The Great Commission".

Thursday, August 9, 2007

BOUNDARIES VS. WALLS

Boundaries: (Webster’s) n. 1. something that indicates bounds or limits; a limiting or bounding line.

(My view) Limitations set in order that all parties involved can feel safe enough to be themselves, live in peace and grow in their intimacy with each other. This is not only the order of progression for relationship with boundaries; but it is also the order of destruction for those without.

Walls: (Webster’s) n. 3. an immaterial or intangible barrier, obstruction, etc., suggesting a wall: a wall of prejudice.

(My view) Attitudes, actions and restrictions that undermine a relationship’s ability to exist. Walls keep feelings in and people out.

Boundaries vs. Walls: (My view) Setting boundaries is the first lesson that most of us co-dependents learn in recovery. We have been walked on all of our lives. We are sick and tired of being sick and tired and we are not going to take any more. So we start “setting down the rules”. But what kind of rules do we set down? What effect will these rules have on our relationship?

I have seen so many co-dependents with a controlling nature take the principles of boundaries and misuse it to justify them doing what they have always tried to do, control those around them. They wield boundaries over everybody’s heads like a sledgehammer. And if you do not tow the line, the hammer will drop. This does not bring about a safe and peaceful environment that will allow the relationship to grow in intimacy.

I will acknowledge that there are relationships that need to be severed. Those relationships that was not only a mistake to get into; but also pose such a danger to the person’s well being that they must leave for their own safety. This does not justify divorcing your spouse just because they have a list of annoying habit or a thick skull. I have noticed that the ones who are the most frustrated with their spouse’s thick skull have skulls that are just as thick. But domestic violence is another matter altogether. It is as much as a violation of the marriage covenant as adultery. Not only does the Bible command husbands to love your wives; but it also warns repeatedly that God is angered by those who oppress those who cannot defend themselves.1

1 Jeremiah 7:1-7; Amos 4:1-3; Zechariah 7:8-10; Ephesians 5:23-33; Colossians 3:19; 1 Peter 1:7

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