Twice Adopted: SELF-ESTEEM

My Agenda

I have a two fold agenda for this blog. First, I am a devoted Christian who enjoys teaching others what I have learned, especially about the Bible. I not only have a background in cross-cultural ministry, but also includes children's ministry at both preschool and grade school leaves.

I have also worked the 12 Step of recovery in a manner in which I made them subject to Biblical principles. I am a greatfully recovering adult child of multiple dysfunctional families and a co-dependent. You will note that postings that I write dealing with this subject are categorized as Biblical Discipleship- Recovery. That term is not just propaganda on my part to win over those who are skeptical of the 12 steps. It recognizes that the Bible is the key to true "self improvement." It also reminds us that such improvements should be done for the purpose of us become more effective Christians.

The second part of my agenda of what I have learned about the prejudices that many Americans have towards Arabs since I started coming to First Arabic Baptist. The notion that all Arabs are both Muslims and Terrorist is far more prevalent then I ever realized while attending American churches. It should be noted that all of those who I have met who refuse to believe that it is possible for Arabs to choose Christianity have proven themselves to be anything but devote Christians. Pastor Jamal on the other hand will attest that there have been times when American Christians have told him that they want to support his ministry, but they are afraid that their money might be used to bomb Israelis.

It is with this in mind that I hope to present to you First Arabic Baptist Church. A church of devoted Christians - affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention - that conducts its services in English and Arabic - trying to do its part in fulfilling "The Great Commission".

Thursday, August 9, 2007

SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem: (Webster’s) n. 1. a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.

This definition of self-esteem seems to base on a positive self-esteem. You could say that it is a goal that all humans strive for. So why do we not reach it? Many people have a lot of different explanations for this dilemma, but I believe that I can sum up all of them in one word: Shame! The terms guilt and shame are used interchangeably in the English language, but I see this as a problem. That is because some feeling of remorse are beneficial to us and others are destructive. In the definitions that I am about to give, I will use the term guilt to describe positive remorse and shame to describe destructive remorse.

Guilt: (Webster’s) n. 2. a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.

Shame: (Webster’s) n., v. shamed, shaming. n. 1. the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.

Guilt vs. Shame: (My view) The Webster’s definition for shame expresses a much stronger emotion then its definition for guilt. The severity of these emotions can cause long-term repercussions. Although Webster’s may not totally agree with how I expand that thought, the following is an understanding that I have received from many different sources. Guilt says you are a human being who just simply messed up. Shame says you did something terrible and even unforgivable. Guilt says you did something wrong¹; but shame can lead to the belief that there is something wrong with you. We are not talking about coming to the realization that you are a sinner in need of God’s forgiveness through the shed blood of his Son. That is a Biblical understanding that we all need to come to. What we are talking about is believing that you are unworthy of forgiveness and are without hope.² And that is a lie of Satan!